Section clean up (tuesday) drama's

The last post showed the cleaned up section.

What is did give was the drama's around it.

Firstly the tip was closed. Tiffany did confirm they were open the Tuesday after Christmas, but apparently this is the Tuesday after boxing day i.e. Two Tuesdays after Christmas.

You guessed it - we found this out after we had borrowed a car from mum and dad, rented a trailer fulled it with rubbish, found the tip and driven there.

I would like to think I was the loving, kind and thoughtful husband who was full of grace. Well no - grumpy b#$%&$# I was. After the melt down we decided to drop it of on the rubbish pile on the farm. Thus we had to travel 1/2 hour one way back home, and back. Thus doing this two times added an extra 2 hours to the job!

Anyway we ran into timing troubles with the car. Brother X wanted it, and had told brother Y who was with me get it back about 7, now it was going to be back about 7:45. Brother Y and X have texting conversation and it's OK. Now wife phones Dad, he is kind of annoyed but say's they will cope. However good diligent wife tries to confirm this - gets mum who on a good day is well organized - on a bad is a control freak - it wasn't a good day. So we had to cut short the exercise to complete it in the morning. (Wed)

Anyway why do I say all that? Well firstly negative emotion causes bad sleep, bad sleep causes depression. So I went to bed with lots negative emotion - a tip closed (minor) conflict with parents/family (major). Therefore no sleep for David last night.

Secondly I have come to the conclusion that my folks relate to us as adults when all is going well and as children when it is not. This sucks. Thus when treated like a child buy your parents you tend to fit into that mold. Anyway this results in loosing my voice - a key part of my depression.

Thus leading to the point of the post the link between my dyslexia and the black dog of depression. I feel that I lost my voice, my ability to speak up and be heard, the ability to speak what is on my heart and mind with confidence and shore belief that I was right is saying what is going on was lost in my childhood due to my dyslexia. That is my depression is closed linked to the experiences of me as a dyslexic.

What happened to loose my voice. For a number of reasons. One being that I think and feel different things to others. Therefore I soon learned to shut my mouth about my thoughts and emotions cause they would either be trodden upon or ridiculed. Therefore play ones cards close to ones chest. This must has started really early one cause I can remember doing this from about when I started school!

Anyway hopefully I will recover my mental health enough and plan a strategy to help me deal with negative situations like above . Better go now

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