The power of silence and questions

One of the key frustrations and annoyances of being a picture thinker is that my thinking goes to pot under pressure. Or more accurately I cannot articulate thoughts because the emotion overwhelms the ability to engage in good verbal discussion.

So as a result I avoid conflict or any situation were I will be under emotional pressure and expected to react to it.

However the last week has been very interesting. I have learned the power of silence, pauses and questions. Without saying to much the last week has had a lot of pressured meeting with various people in my employment. And have learnt some interesting things. However more on that later when it can be talked about more freely

Anyway at the doctors today - have a viral infection going down the nerves in my back. And like I always do I have left it so late to see a doctor that I have basically gone past the peak and are self healing. Anyway it was the first time I had visited this doctor, as I have not gone in over 2 years, and Tiffany who goes more regular especially with the kids had changed family doctors. Nice guy, genuinely cares, all the right reasons to be a doctor and serve - highly recommend him. Well anyway he had a go at me about St John's Wort - how it doesn't work, has side effects etc etc etc.

Well in the end I said "Is there anything that I can say that would change your mind?" Cause the conversion was going nowhere. I wasn't going to change, and he wasn't going to listen - so what was the point! Anyway a power question, because the answer is "No there is nothing you can say that would change my mind" however to say that would to be admit that he was being closed minded! So at this stage he talked about diversity and respect for others opinions. Even though he still thinks I am mad, wrong and stupid, at least he has affirmed my position and I can walk out without feeling put down.

And that is important - not to have my self esteem bashed because of someone who doesn't have all the facts, and is not prepared to listen!

Therefore I must be quite more and practice asking questions.....

Correct way to handle disapointments

A question - what is a mature way to cope with disappointments (and frustrations). In the past I may have swept them under the carpet and pretended like they didn't exist. This not a good long term solution - you end up with bigger issues like the black dog!

So how to we acknowledge these disappointments and move on in a well and healthy way?

Maybe the best solution has to be talking it through with someone who will not dis you for having these emotions. And in dialogging healing can come, and peace can be made. - I guess part of this is figuring out when one is disappointed, if you gone through life ignoring it, sometimes it is hard to work out what the emotion is.

This also ties in to the strong intense emotions that picture thinkers can often feel. The emotion is so strong and overwhelming that we don't know what to do with it. I guess I learned to suppress them cause I don't want to acknowledge them.

Seeing the answer

Visual thinking takes time to get into words.

Was in a meeting the other day - had some problems to find solutions for. I could see the solution in my mind. But couldn't explain it, fortuitously that meeting was stopped and re convined later. Therefore I had time to think through the solution and write it down.

Ironically how writing stuff down has been a major help in getting things out of my mind - as I was previously a dyslexic.

In the Latest Blog
Regarding Dilbert

The writer Scott Adams the creator of Dilbert makes an interesting comment regarding his blog. In a Q & A session he stated that the blog gives him a creative outlet to express himself that he does have. And that he enjoys that.

Interesting - I am much the same (though need to spend more time here)

Book started again

Started my book writing again. It feels great to be making progress again

Also yesterday was a OK day, and today has been a good day
(The first for a few weeks)

Life is good

Section clean up (tuesday) drama's

The last post showed the cleaned up section.

What is did give was the drama's around it.

Firstly the tip was closed. Tiffany did confirm they were open the Tuesday after Christmas, but apparently this is the Tuesday after boxing day i.e. Two Tuesdays after Christmas.

You guessed it - we found this out after we had borrowed a car from mum and dad, rented a trailer fulled it with rubbish, found the tip and driven there.

I would like to think I was the loving, kind and thoughtful husband who was full of grace. Well no - grumpy b#$%&$# I was. After the melt down we decided to drop it of on the rubbish pile on the farm. Thus we had to travel 1/2 hour one way back home, and back. Thus doing this two times added an extra 2 hours to the job!

Anyway we ran into timing troubles with the car. Brother X wanted it, and had told brother Y who was with me get it back about 7, now it was going to be back about 7:45. Brother Y and X have texting conversation and it's OK. Now wife phones Dad, he is kind of annoyed but say's they will cope. However good diligent wife tries to confirm this - gets mum who on a good day is well organized - on a bad is a control freak - it wasn't a good day. So we had to cut short the exercise to complete it in the morning. (Wed)

Anyway why do I say all that? Well firstly negative emotion causes bad sleep, bad sleep causes depression. So I went to bed with lots negative emotion - a tip closed (minor) conflict with parents/family (major). Therefore no sleep for David last night.

Secondly I have come to the conclusion that my folks relate to us as adults when all is going well and as children when it is not. This sucks. Thus when treated like a child buy your parents you tend to fit into that mold. Anyway this results in loosing my voice - a key part of my depression.

Thus leading to the point of the post the link between my dyslexia and the black dog of depression. I feel that I lost my voice, my ability to speak up and be heard, the ability to speak what is on my heart and mind with confidence and shore belief that I was right is saying what is going on was lost in my childhood due to my dyslexia. That is my depression is closed linked to the experiences of me as a dyslexic.

What happened to loose my voice. For a number of reasons. One being that I think and feel different things to others. Therefore I soon learned to shut my mouth about my thoughts and emotions cause they would either be trodden upon or ridiculed. Therefore play ones cards close to ones chest. This must has started really early one cause I can remember doing this from about when I started school!

Anyway hopefully I will recover my mental health enough and plan a strategy to help me deal with negative situations like above . Better go now

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